Sussex (Hepworth)

Name: Sussex
Label: "Traditional Pale Ale - Sussex hops and & barley - Naturally Gluten Free"
Brewery: Hepworth & Co Brewers
ABV: 3.5%

Tasting notes: "Sussex is a well hopped traditional Pale Ale. Thirst quenching and traditionally brewed with the finest Sussex grown ingredients: malted barley, Golding and Admiral Hops. It carries the "Warranty of Origin" to guarantee our commitment to creating excellent beers from the highest quality local ingredients."

Game: So we've been playing Aliens: Colonial Marines and it's actually NOT THAT BAD! There, I've said it [no, you shouted it - Ed].  It's no Alien Isolation but then it wasn't trying to be (because Alien Isolation hadn't been invented then). But if you want a corridor shooter and you want Aliens and you've only got a quid, this game has you covered.

Revised rating: 6 facehugs out of 10

IPA (Belhaven)

Name: IPA
Label: "Original Scottish Craft - Golden, Fresh, Aromatic"
Brewery: Belhaven
ABV: 4.2%

Tasting notes: "India Pale Ales were first brewed in the 19th century, when the refreshing bite of beers brewed with extra hops became very popular in India. In America a century or more later, IPAs evolved into super-strong, super-hoppy beers. Our Scottish take on the style is closer to those original exports - a fine golden pale ale brewed with Fuggles, Willamette and Styrian hops to give a an aromatic nose with spicy, tropical fruit and lemon zest notes and a brisk, refreshing flavour."

Game: Today was random purchase Tuesday. After the excessive expenditure that was Elite Dangerous [yeah you're a bit shit at that game aren't you - Ed] we splashed out a whole English pound (£1) re-buying Aliens Colonial Marines. Was it *really* as bad as everyone said it was when it was first released? We can't remember much about it so the incoming review will be without any baggage or prior knowledge of what it should or should not be [it appears your memory is as bad as your gaming skills - Ed].

Barnsley Blonde (Barnsley Beer Company)

Name: Barnsley Blonde
Label: "The name's Blonde... Barnsley Blonde - Who wa she wi? She wa wi er sen! - Seductive Golden Ale"
Brewery: Barnsley Beer Company
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: "Shimmers and shimmies with an attractive and seductively golden full bodied flavour that is sure to tantalise your taste buds. At 5.0%, with a fruity bitter aftertaste and deliciously satisfying aroma, this is a blonde to truly savour." I don't understand all that 'She wa wi er sen' stuff on the label... probably for the best.

Game: What I don't understand is, the likes of C&VG, OXM, X360 must all have had pre-release copies of Aliens: Colonial Marines in order to put together their reviews in time for release day. Sega and Gearbox execs pretended the game was going to be great in the run-up to release, increasing the hype around the game. Given that the end product was poor, surely the magazines are complicit with the developers in this deception?  Was it a conspiracy to achieve healthy pre-order sales?  Or maybe everyone new it was going to be crap and I just hadn't been paying attention...

Get Thi Coit (Barnsley Beer Company)

Name: Get Thi Coit
Label: "Tha's pulled! - Romantic Ruby Red Ale - Beautiful Beer - Affordable Prices.
Brewery: Barnsley Beer Company
ABV: 4.0%

Rating: "3 little words that mean so much. Romance has always been close to any Tyke's heart (and wallet) and now here's a delicious ruby red ale to help celebrate any special occasion."  In case you're not sure, 'Get Thi Coit, Tha's Pulled' translated to English means 'Please retrieve your outdoor-wear so we may leave this establishment as it appears you've succeeded in acquiring a potential mate for the evening.'  The joke here being that this phrase is not *actually* romantic yet it is being used as the name for a 'romantic ruby ale'. Oh, Barnsley Beer Company, you and your Valentine's Day-related wicked sense of humour.

Game: Aliens: Colonial Marines isn't actually *that* bad. It just suffers from poor production values and looks a bit rough. Once you get over the initial shock of the crummy graphics, poor story, and over-used gaming cliches, it's actually quite addictive, in that 'one more go' kind of way. I also recommend starting out on the hardest difficulty, 'Ultimate Badass,' as it makes things a little more tense and not quite as easy. I give it a flattering 6/10. It would have got 5/10 but playing the game makes me want to re-watch the awesome Alien films again, so it deserves an extra point.

Snowman's Revenge (Wentworth)

Name: Snowman's Revenge
Label: "Best bar none"
Brewery: Wentworth
ABV: 4.1%

Rating: "A delicious chestnut bitter with a full malt character and finished with a delicate balance of Whitbread hops." The snowman may have melted but his revenge remains... in tasty beer form.

Game: Finished the rather exceptional Dead Space 3, now on to Aliens: Colonial Marines that I pre-ordered. Ever get that sickening feeling you've just dropped £30 on 'a bit of a shit game'? That's what I was feeling on Tuesday night when I started to play it. I can discuss it no more at this stage. To take my mind off wasting £30, here are Bickle77's gaming stats for 2012 courtesy of Raptr: 720 hours played (the average is 116), 53 games played (average is 12), 621 achievements unlocked (the average is 69). Game I most played was a split between Skyrim and Mass Effect 3 both clocking in at 8% each of total time played. Fascinating, I'm sure you'll not agree.