Simon Rimmer Presents a Beer to go with Steak (Robinsons)

Name: Simon Rimmer Presents a Beer to go with Steak
Label: "Simon says... I always think a good ale should be meaty. So matching beer with steak or any red meat means you want depth of flavour. Luckily that's exactly what you'll find inside this bottle. Great flying solo - even better with your favourite meaty dish."
Brewery: Robinsons
ABV: 4.4%

Rating: "An intense beer handcrafted to heighten the finest flavours of a big juicy steak. This rich ruby red ale is packed with toffee and roasted biscuity malts, adding a depth of flavour that will leave you (and your guests) wanting more." Guests Schmests, give me all the steak and give me all the beer!

Game: FINALLY! Dark Souls finished. Done and done. A mixture of emotions ranging from elation to wow-that-ending-was-rubbish. I'd also like to take this opportunity to pass on my undying gratitude to the following folks of Xbox Live-land, namely gamertag "Oven Chips" for his/her assist during the blisteringly difficult battle against Dragon Slayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough (two bosses against two real players seems fairer to me) and gamertag "I Am A Viking" for his copious amounts of encouragement and links to handy tutorials, guides and walkthroughs *wipes tear away* may you both be stocked full of Humanity and never go Hollow.

Frederic's Great British Alcoholic Ginger Beer (Frederic Robinson)

Name: Frederic's Great British Alcoholic Ginger Beer
Label: "GB - Hoppy and refreshing with a fiery ginger kick and fruity lemon notes"
Brewery: Frederic Robinson
ABV: 3.8%

Rating: "Distinctive and unique in that it has been created especially for beer drinkers who like traditionally crafted ales and those who love the taste of ginger. Tasting note: A wonderful blend of traditional malty ale combined with natural ginger extract gives rise to a rich ruby red, warming beer. This hoppy and refreshing beer comes to life with a fiery ginger kick and in harmony with fruity lemon notes."

Game: So Dark Souls eh? What a bitch. Recently saw a video preview of Dark Souls 2 and it has spurred me on like a deranged horse to try and finish the original. Over the past week or so I've beaten Queelag, Havel, a Hydra, the Iron Golem, giant felines (or something, they were definitely big cats) and conquered Sen's Fortress, almost sorted New Londo Ruins and reached Anor Londo! Phew! I've also run through Firelink Shrine about a billion times due to lots of dying (some swine has extinguished the bonfire). But I think we're getting there, slowly but surely.

Cornish IPA (St Austell)

Name: Cornish IPA
Label: "Classic Indian Pale Ale brewed with Cornish spring water"
Brewery: St Austell
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: "This well balanced hoppy beer compliments fish and chips and spicy dishes." I want fish and chips right now. Thanks for nothing, bottle label.

Game: Dark Souls is up to its usual tricks again of letting you get past a certain bit and making you think how ace you are only to then crush you with its crushing difficulty. I'm also a bit stuck on Darksiders 2 as well thanks to some very Portal-esque portal-y puzzles. Maybe I'm getting too old for gaming and it calls for a younger, keener, fitter mind..?

Triple C (Thwaites)

Name: Triple C
Label: "Thoroughly appealing - Refreshing blonde ale"
Brewery: Thwaites
ABV: 4.4%

Rating: "C is for Cascade, an aromatic American hop that is renowned for its flavour and aroma. It has been added at all three stages of the brewing process to give this delightful, thirst-quenching blonde ale its enticing, light grapefruit flavours."

Game: Suddenly become hopelessly addicted to Dark Souls once again. Finally beat the Bell Tower Gargoyles after getting back into the swing of things. Got me some stone armour, a +5 battle axe and new ways to farm souls. Even beat the Capra Demon at the second attempt. I seem to have become cursed now though so my energy bar is permanently 50% depleted *scared face*.

Poacher's Choice (Badger)

Name: Poacher's Choice
Label: "Notes of Damson & Liquorice"
Brewery: Badger
ABV: 5.7%

Rating: "The wily poacher knows the temptations the lush Dorset countryside has to offer. Just like the Badger, the Poacher craftily seeks out its treasures and makes the most of sumptuous local ingredients. This rich, smooth brew has softly spiced sweetness with dark liquorice notes and a fruity damson aroma. A gutsy ruby ale that is well matched with hearty game pie or a tangy mature cheese." I think my Badger collection with revamped labels is complete now... *hic*

Game: You're no doubt aware that Dark Souls is a pretty tough game. You should definitely know now as I've just told you in that surprisingly informative preceding sentence. Whilst unboxing Dark Souls I could see the control-pad start to cringe at the prospect of being launched through the telly in a fit of game-rage. The telly is just glad the game's not Kinect enabled as potentially I could be launching myself through the telly in a fit of game-rage. Fear not though my little beige controllery-type device and slightly aging HDTV. Its true, the game is absolutely and horrifically solid, however upon death there's more a sigh of resigned inevitablility than a bout of full on anger. You're supposed to progress a little bit at a time as you get better. Last night I got killed by a massive dragon, then some ghosts, then I fell down a hole a bunch of times and got absolutely nowhere in the process. So I put Dead Island on and mashed some zombie heads for an hour. Love it! I will master Dark Souls though, mark my words...

Abbot Ale (Greene King) - in an Abbot Ale tankard

Name: Abbot Ale
Label: "Bury St Edmunds - Gold Quality Award 2010"
Brewery: Greene King
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: "Brewed for quality of the highest order in the heart of Bury St Edmunds where brewing in the town's great Abbey can be traced back to 1086. Brewed longer to a unique recipe creating a full flavoured, smooth and mature beer. This irresistible ale has masses of fruit and character. A malty richness and superb hop balance".  Notice my swish new Abbot Ale tankard in the picture? Thanks Abbot Ale / Greene King!

Game:  I saw perhaps one of the crappest video game related play on words / jokes ever on Twitter the other day. It's either rubbish or I just don't get it, or both.  It referred to the CVG article EA shuts Australian Dead Space studio regarding yet another game studio closing and the resulting job losses etc. The "joke" on Twitter quoted verbatim was, "Shocking News! Ea shuts Australian in Davy Jones' treasure chest Space studio. (Dead Space studio)".  I'm no expert on comedy but that is just shit. Sorry.  I don't know why, I honestly don't, but just reading it again makes me feel confused and angry.  I had to unfollow them in a vain attempt at catharsis.  In other, happier, news I want Dark Souls and Rage. A lot. I will resist though until I've finished Dead Island. Don't forget, Batman is out in two tiny weeks, woo!