Old Engine Oil (Harviestoun)

Name: Old Engine Oil
Label: "Rich - Bittersweet - Viscous- Black ale - Crafted with a twist"
Brewery: Harviestoun
ABV: 6.0%

Tasting notes: "Legend has it that Old Engine Oil was dedicated to our Head Brewer's love of classic cars. But it's the thick, dark, chocolatey viscosity that reveals the real inspiration behind the name. We use loads of roasted malt to give it a rich black colour and plenty of oats to give it a wonderful, velvety mouthfeel. It's just the job for anyone who appreciates beautifully engineered stuff that used to be made properly. So undo the top button of your pressed pit overalls, ease into the wingback and roll out a rare taste of a truly great British beer. Welcome to the Owners' Club"

Game: Just read something about No Man's Sky that brags of over '18,446,744,073,709,551,616 (18 quintillion) planets to explore...'. Now I don't mean to by cynical, but the cynic in me suggests that this will probably include a desert planet, a watery planet, a foresty planet, a snowy planet and 18 quintillion combinations of these. Strikes me as quite boring and/or pointless, or at least potentially one of the most difficult achievements ever. Plus there's no such thing as that number, it's impossible to have a number that big. And even if such a number existed, there's no way they could have counted all the planets. I quite like the idea of owning my own planet though if that's a thing within the game?

Bitter & Twisted (Harviestoun)

Name: Bitter & Twisted
Label: "Spicy - Aromatic - Zesty - Blond Beer. In the early days Bitter & Twisted was brewed with a fractious mouse for company; this testy rodent became the brewer's inspiration. Harvie is now our mascot."
Brewery: Harviestoun
ABV: 4.2%

Rating: "B&T has a superb hop profile; it combines aromatic Hallertau Hersbrücker with spicy Challenger, finished by late-hopping with Styrian Goldings which give a very distinctive citrus sharpness. Like all Harviestoun beers, B&T has won awards at home and abroad. We bottle with less carbon dioxide which is why our beers taste more natural. For splendid refreshment, enjoy cold."  ...it combines aromatic what now?? Anyway check out my umlaut!

Game: Only 2 days 'til Xbox One Day!  I've been nervously enquiring with Amazon if they're definitely sure I'm going to get my pre-order on release day. They gave the stock answer of, "We'll process orders in time to be delivered on the given delivery date in your account".  What I actually want to hear is, "Yes! You'll definitely get your Xbox One on release day. In fact I'll be driving it around to your house personally and will be there at 6am to ensure you get the maximum amount of daylight hours in which to set up and get your game on!"  At least they responded though, which was nice. I like it when companies offer support via Twitter. The personal touch, y'know?

Mr Sno'Balls (Harviestoun)

Name: Mr Sno'Balls
Label: "Craft brewed in Scotland - Crisp Clean Citrus - Unusual name, unusual beer"
Brewery: Harviestoun Brewery
ABV: 4.5%

Rating: "This copper coloured beer is brewed with pale and crystal malts with a touch of roast barley. The hop additions are Challenger for bitterness and Styrian for its floral citrus aroma. A balanced and very moreish beer. Best served chilled." You know, like a snowman!

Game: So today I had to take over an enemy encampment. There were about six or seven pirates guarding the camp and no way to disable the alarm without being spotted... and I was almost totally out of ammo. Luckily I noticed a large, angry looking bear caged up within the camp. I took up a hidden position several hundred metres away. The bamboo cage door was no match for the single remaining bullet from my sniper rifle. The wood splintered and broke and the bear was unleashed. Mr. Bear then proceeded to maul every pirate to death for me. They tried but could not kill the beast, even with their not-so-fancy AK-47s. Losers. I sneaked into the camp and debated whether or not to go over to the bear and give him a big hug, he had just helped me out after all. Deciding that this course of action would probably end badly i.e. evisceration, I instead opted to loot the nearest dead pirate for ammo and proceeded to empty an entire clip into bear hide. I then skinned him. Sorry mate, ha ha ha ha. *Sob* I loved that bear. Mixed emotions... and that's why Far Cry 3 is so great.