Friday, 26 February 2010

Wychcraft (Wychwood)

Name: Wychcraft
Label: "Thrice hopped for flavour"
Brewery: Wychwood
ABV: 4.5%

Rating: Different version bottled for the European market judging by the label. WTF?? Nice one Aldi.

Game: Unsurprisingly, there's a lot of God / Satan related content in Dante's Inferno. God really isn't real by the way, here's some proof (check the death toll stats).  However, if by some freak cosmic irony he does actually exist and I get to meet him then he's got a heck of a lot of explaining to do. And he better talk quick or else I'm going to rip his f*cking spine out.  Talking of ripping people's spines out, Aliens Vs Predator is a game definitely gracing my collection shortly.  Watch this space for a review.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Thunder Holt (Joseph Holt)

Thunder Holt
Name: Thunder Holt
Label: "Storm in a bottle"
Brewery: Joseph Holt
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: Joseph Holt is miles better than the biblical Joseph (who, by the way, was Jesus's real dad and may or may not have brewed beer).

Game: Had a bit of a dose of nausea playing Bioshock 2. It was quite good actually in an augmented reality kind of way. Apparently motion sickness and video games is a "taboo" subject but I thought it was great. It's recommended that when you experience motion sickness when playing a video game, you MUST stop playing immediately. Yeah right!

Monday, 22 February 2010

Moonraker (J.W. Lees)

Name: Moonraker
Label: "Strong ale"
Brewery: J.W. Lees
ABV: 7.5%

Rating: Not named after the excellent Roger Moore Bond movie unfortunately, named after farm workers who once tried to rake the moon's reflection from a Middleton stream... nowadays they get jobs in middle-management.

Game: Finished Dante's Inferno clocking in at just under 12 hours gameplay.  Completely wussed out and had to take on Lucifer on the easier setting because the wrong ass was getting severely kicked.  A now definite, 8/10 overall score. Great job Visceral Games, looking forward to part two.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Butty Bach (Wye Valley)

Name: Butty Bach
Label: "A bottle conditioned beer"
Brewery: Wye Valley
ABV: 4.5%

Rating: Brewed for the Cardiff Beer Festival and was voted 'Beer of the Festival' three years in a row.

Game: Video games came in for another kicking this week after some nobody called Dr. Linda Plopadopadopa-louse claims video games are "responsible for the sexualisation of children. What a thoroughly  objectionable, vomit inducing attempt at publicity from, of all things, a "Big Brother psychologist". This person considers herself a "Doctor" too - is this as in "Dr" Gillian McKeith or Dr Harold Shipman I wonder?  Either way she sounds like a complete tit.

Golden Sheep (Black Sheep)

Name: Golden Sheep
Label: "Fine Pale Ale"
Brewery: Black Sheep
ABV: 4.7%

Rating: Why is the plural of sheep, sheep when it should be sheeps?

Game: Dante's Inferno isn't nearly as annoying as it had the potential to be. There's a handy feature whereby your health slowly increases each time you die so you never feel you really do have to abandon all hope ye who enter here. Come on Lucifer, you bring Beatrice and I'll bring the pain.  The game definitely rates 8/10 at least. WTF does Gamespot know anyway... quite a lot normally but a bit harsh on this one. A good song to have on whilst playing Dante's Inferno - Still Sane by Illdisposed.

 Meanwhile Bioshock 2 isn't getting a look in *sad face*.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Unicorn (Robinsons)

Name: UnicornUnicorn
Label: "Brewing excellence - Robinsons legendary Unicorn has been recognised as the standard for quality beers for over 170 years"
Brewery: Robinsons
ABV: 4.3%

Rating: Thankfully has nothing to do with that sh*t Dungeons & Dragons cartoon from the 80's.

Game: Well into Dante's Inferno now - its one of those games that gets really f*cking annoying after awhile. Trying to make platform jumps in 3D scrolling environments gets tricky at times, resulting in certain segments needing to be replayed over and over and over and over and over again. Still good though but want to play Mass Effect 2 again...  Speaking of Mass Effect 2, here's my review:

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Dandelion (Badger)

Name: DandelionDandelion
Label: "A refreshing, well-rounded ale with dandelion natural flavour"
Brewery: Badger
ABV: 4.5%

Rating: "A fine and dandy ale" = true

Game: Defeated the Collectors, Mass Effect 2 finished.  Just in time because Bioshock 2 has arrived closely followed by Dante's Inferno.  Both awesome so far. Dante's Inferno is surpassing expectations - the only game I've seen where it rains burning people, there are waterfalls of people and people are impaled on spikes. Hell never looked so cool!

Friday, 12 February 2010

Jack Frost (Fuller's)

Name: Jack Frost
Jack Frost Label: "Brewed with blackberries for a delicious fruity taste"
Brewery: Fuller's
ABV: 4.5%

Rating: Best enjoyed accompanied by your favourite meaty dish or mature cheese, preferably close to a warm fire to ward off winter's chills.

Game: Another highly annoying story in web-rag Metro. "Church of England condemns 'violent and sexual' video games".  What's a DVD game?  Where are the games with "extreme violence and sexual scenes",  because I want some...  If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times, these games aren't for children, they're rated 18 for a reason. And on what authority does the Church of England even have to speak out about something they clearly have no idea about?

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Bishops Finger (Shepherd Neame)

Name: Bishops Finger
Kentish strong ale Label: "Kentish strong ale"
Brewery: Shepherd Neame
ABV: 5.4%

Rating: I once drank a bottle of this in Wales that was over a year out of date. And the shop was storing it in a chiller. Savages.

Game: Anything new to report in the world of gaming? Not really - although Jessica Chobot has finished Mass Effect 2 according to her Twitter status.  She shot to fame after a photo of her licking a PSP appeared on the Internet. An Asda (Walmart?) employee who recently licked a chicken got sentenced to 56 days in jail after the video was uploaded to YouTube. Strange how things work out isn't it.

Goliath (Wychwood)

Name: Goliath
Goliath Label: "The beer to slay a mighty thirst"
Brewery: Wychwood
ABV: 4.2%

Rating: New year, new label.  Some people don't rate Goliath that highly - the fools.

Game: Nearly thirty hours into Mass Effect 2 now. Long way still to go too. Dante's Inferno and Bioshock 2 arriving next week - some late nights coming up I think so I'm going to be even more tired at work than normal for the next few weeks/months. Screw work, its sucks anyway (it doesn't really - I like work, if it wasn't for work I'd probably be a hermit).