Hooker (Batemans)

Name: Hooker
Label: "Have you got the balls for it? - Goes well with raw meat!!!"
Brewery: Batemans
ABV: 4.1%

Rating: I do have the balls for it as a matter of fact. A tasty brew but wouldn't want to eat raw meat at the same time, or ever for that matter.

Game: Splatterhouse is absolutely ace.  I cannot believe IGN only gave it 4 out of 10.  Why do games like this rate so badly? I think they're great. What exactly is so wrong about upgradeable heavy & light attacks, quicktime events and locked rooms that only unlock when you've cleared it of enemies?  And what frame rate problems??  Enough of the rhetorical questions. If you're undecided, bollocks to IGN - if you liked Conan, Dante's Inferno and all those types of underrated games you'll like this. 7.5/10

Bruins Ruin (Beartown)

Name: Bruins Ruin
Label: "Made in Cheshire"
Brewery: Beartown Brewery
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: Deep copper coloured strong bitter.  Full of character and dry lingering hoppy finish. Bruin means "bear" in some foreign language or other.  This is the last of the bear related beers that I could find in Asda. It was fun while it lasted.

Game: Remember 1988? An awesome game came out called Splatterhouse which everyone used to talk about. I played it. Twas indeed awesome.  Now I have the 2010 reboot.  It didn't rate too well but it's great button-mashing fun and as gory as heck. It gets the thumbs up from me and then the thumbs are removed and used as weapons to gouge your brains out with. Fantastic looking levels and more blood than you can shake a bloody stump at, 7/10