Rosey Nosey (Batemans)

Name: Rosey Nosey
Label: "Independent since 1874"
Brewery: Batemans
ABV: 4.9%

Rating: Its got Santa on the label so it's ace. If you don't like Christmas for no good reason then you suck. If you want, send reasons for not liking Christmas to me so I can judge whether you suck or not.  Some responses:
1. "My Grandad died on Christmas morning". Judgment - you don't suck. Your Grandad sucks for dying at Christmas and spoiling it for everyone else. 
2. "I hate all the expensive Christmas shopping, the Christmas songs and trying to find a parking space". Judgement - you totally suck. Stop being such a tight arse, everyone is abit poorer at the moment not just whingey you, enjoy the music, you only hear it once a year rather than the normal sh*t you listen to everyday, get to the shops earlier so you can find a car parking space.

Game: After the slightly violent previous post this post focuses on other, non-violent, aspects of Assassin's Creed 2.  Erm... it looks fantastic, superb musical score and sound effects, it's got horses in it and some eagles.

Autumn Fall (Batemans)

Name: Autumn Fall
Label: "Barley, Oats, Wheat, Rye - multigrain beer"
Brewery: Batemans
ABV: 4.2%

Rating: Find a tree and look at it. Are all the leaves nearly gone? If so, drink this.

Game: Nothing but Assassin's Creed 2 for a whole week... seven days. Usually I can have a game done and dusted in a few nights but this just keeps going! Incredibubble. Even been doing moves that I don't know how I did it. There was this one time, where I sneaked up on a guard on a rooftop, and he like totally heard me or something because he spun and was all like "oi what are you doin up here" and he came at me with his sword so I panicked because I was hoping for a silent kill so ended up hitting probably all the possible button combinations in one go and suddenly I'd drawn my sword and had grabbed the guard by the neck with the sword across it and was prompted to either "Kill" or "Throw". Rather than just throw the dude from the roof I hit "Kill" and sliced him across the old jugular and the lifeless corpse fell from the roof. Smiley face.

Riggwelter (Black Sheep)

Name: Riggwelter
Label: "Strong Yorkshire Ale"
Brewery: Black Sheep
ABV: 5.7%

Rating: Drink too much and you'll be riggwelted (on your back). From the Old Norse; rygg - back and velte - to overturn. 

Game: The best game on the Xbox 360 so far, Assassin's Creed 2. If you disagree then you're a bit rubbish.  Bought the really overpriced Black Edition from play.com and saw it on ebay for double the price. Shoulda kept it shrink wrapped... or bought two.

White Wych (Wychwood)

Name: White Wych

Label: "Wickedly Refreshing Golden Ale"
Brewery: Wychwood
ABV: 3.8%

Rating: Almost like lager but in a good way and being a moron not necessarily a prerequisite to drinking it

Game: Assassin's Creed 2 is definitely more than I hoped it would be. Its amazing attention to detail and depth far surpasses anything achieved by the first Assassin's Creed (also excellent I might add). Its so realistic that "the line between the virtual and real experience becomes blurred and the game becomes a simulation of real-life situations".  Watch out work colleagues, tomorrow I may think I'm in 15th century Florence and may try and stab you in the face, neck, back or worse depending on which of your particular body parts happens to be facing me at the time. I just can't tell what's real anymore. After work I fancy a trip to the local airport. Now where did I put that machine gun.....?

Deuchars IPA (Caledonian)

Name: Deuchars IPA
Label: "Distinctive - refreshing"
Brewery: Caledonian
ABV: 4.4%

Rating: Cask Champion Beer of Britain 2002 and BIIA, World Champion Cask Ale 2005 - enough awards already

Game: Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed II.

Bluebird Bitter (Coniston)

Name: Bluebird Bitter
Label: "Traditional hand brewed cask & bottle conditioned using only the finest selections of hops & malts"
Brewery: Coniston Brewing Co.
ABV: 4.2%

Rating: A fine session ale

Game: After play.com's failure to deliver on time Asda have come to the rescue in the interim. Assassin's Creed 2 is amazing and definitely warranted a release day purchase. Move over Modern Warfare 2...

Brakspear Triple (Wychwood)

Name: Brakspear Triple
Label: "Thanks to the two fermentations in the Brakspear 'Double Dop' system and another in bottle, this highly aromatic and satisfying strong beer delivers its rich flavour with subtlety and balance"
Brewery: F*ck knows, brewing of Brakspear beers was taken over by Wychwood in 2002 apparently, and it says Marston's PLC on the back of the bottle. We'll go with Wychwood.
ABV: 7.2%

Rating: Stronger than a 14 stone chimp

Game: Ordered Assassin's Creed 2 Limited Black Edition from play.com and was expecting to be playing this. However at time of writing it has failed to arrive. I pre-ordered it back in JUNE, and they can't even arrange for it to be delivered on time. The complete knobcocks *quiet sigh*. Back to Modern Warfare 2 then... progressing nicely on Hardened difficulty.

Sneck Lifter (Jennings)

Name: Sneck Lifter
Label: "Strong ale - Pure Lake District"
Brewery: Jennings
ABV: 5.1%

Rating: I always think of necks when seeing the name. It has nothing to do with necks.

Game: It's come in for a lot of critiscm in Parliament and from "religious leaders", Modern Warfare 2 is jerking a lot of knees by the sounds of it. Most of what has currently been written is just sensationalist, lazy journalism. However, politicians and "religious leaders" are probably the kind of people who should actually sit down and play the darned thing. Maybe then they wouldn't be so quick to go to war in the first place. And to those PC people whinging that its just kids playing it, getting all desensitised, traumatised and other words ending in "ised",  why isn't the parenting issue being focused upon? The game and content is rated 18. So it's not for children. Children shouldn't be given the game, in the same way they shouldn't be given alcohol, cigarettes or smack.

Hooky Bitter (Hook Norton Brewery)

Name: Hooky Bitter
Label: "Where progress is measured in pints - Golden & well balanced"
Brewery: Hook Norton Brewery
ABV: 3.6%

Rating: It may be weaker than a day old kitten but it's a pint in a bottle - hooray!

Game: Here is my slightly more indepth review of Brütal Legend.

Dark Lord (Batemans)

Name: Dark Lord
Label: "Dark ruby beer"
Brewery: Batemans
ABV: 5.0%

Rating: Their beers win Gold medals and everything.

Game: Finished the single player campaign for Brütal Legend, primary and secondary missions, now trying to mop up the collectables. May try multiplayer, although its solely RTS which was pretty good actually in single player, just unsure whether the annoyance factor can be handled in multiplayer... Full single player review coming soon.